In June 2018, I admitted myself into the psych ward. That’s how desperate I was to get help. I contemplated writing this post for many different reasons, but at the end of the day I am committed to being vulnerable because I believe each of us speaking more openly about our experiences will help reduce stigma and help people.

Back to my story – I actually went to the ER 3 times and BEGGED to be admitted before I actually was. Determined and hard headed…that’s me!

Why I checked myself into the psych ward

My experience in the psych ward was intense, to say the least. I was there for 7 days and my psychiatrist changed my medication 4 times.  I have been on Zoloft since 2008 (after my son Bruce was born). Upon leaving the hospital I had a new cocktail of meds. They added Wellbutrin, Concerta and Lorazepam. Even though I hate taking medication and I have always tried to go the natural way, I was open to anything to get myself out of that black hole. In this instance, I definitely needed the meds to treat the symptoms of the physical and mental state I was in. I am currently taking Zoloft and Concerta. I was able to wean off the other 2 and one day I will find the courage and strength to be free of medication. For now, I will continue to live one day at a time. When I feel completely ready, I will embrace that new chapter of my life.

Discharged from the psych ward

My Journey to Recovery

In the past year, I have treated the “actual root cause”, that I didn’t even know existed. I achieved this through 3 methods.

  1. Mindset reset
  2. Exercise. I hired a coach
  3. Self Care. I journal, I meditate. It definitely took a lot of courage and looking inward, but it brought upon so much self growth and I gained so much pride in doing this.

If any of this resonates with you, just know that it’s OK to feel desperate and asking for help is not a sign of weakness. I was desperately seeking answers that day back in June last year. I came away with not only medication to help with my symptoms, but renewed focus on dealing with the core issues I’m experiencing.

In no way am I ashamed of this, and I firmly believe the strength of our stories will help others going through the same thing.

Need Someone to Talk to?

I am no therapist but I have lived through hell and back. I am a good listener as well. If you’re going through something and are looking to bend an ear, feel free to send me a personal message @amanda_rondeau_1979. I am safe talk certified and it would be my pleasure to help in any way I can…my passion is honestly to help others!


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